Just Be
by Mestizaa
Summary: In which Mrs Hughes comes back late after the birth of Baby Bates and finds Mr Carson napping at his desk.


**A/N:** Written for inordertolivelife on Tumblr who wrote: "Carson stays up waiting for Mrs. Hughes to get back from the birth of Baby Bates. Mrs. Hughes finds him napping in his office when she returns. What happens next?"

Title and last line shamelessly stolen from a song by Paloma Faith.

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**Just Be**

By the time Mrs Hughes slipped through the back door, the sun had been replaced by the moon. The occasional squeak of the floorboards under her clicking heels, seemed to be amplified in the otherwise silent house. It was eerie really – an uncomfortable contrast to the normally bustling activity in the halls.

All the servants had long gone to bed. However, the light coming from the Butler's Pantry indicated, that one had stayed up waiting for her.

She gently pushed his door, and winced slightly when it creaked at her touch. Carson didn't notice; he was asleep at his desk. His head was propped up in one hand, a rebellious piece of hair curled across his forehead, and little bit of drool glistened in the corner of his mouth.

She hesitated at the door. It occurred to her that this was probably the first wink of sleep that he had gotten in the past two days. She almost felt bad for waking him, but his back would thank her in the morning.

Her heel clicked against the floor, and again and again as she made her way to his side of the desk. Each step was a deliberate attempt to rouse him from his sleep. When he did not stir, she tentatively called out his name.

"Mr Carson?"

Nothing.

"Mr Carson?" she tried again.

When he failed to respond, she rolled her eyes and carefully leaned on the edge of the desk. Reaching into her coat pocket, she pulled out her handkerchief, leaned over and gently wiped the drool from his mouth. She let the fabric slide across his lips, grazing over the smooth pink flesh, only faltering slightly when she noticed a small freckle on his bottom lip.

Had that always been there? She frowned and carefully grazed it with her index finger.

His eyelids fluttered at the contact and she quickly dropped her hand. She remained where she was, but her posture stiffened as she busied herself with folding her handkerchief.

"Why hello, Sleeping Beauty," she smiled softly, and places the fabric in her coat pocket.

He frowned and pushed the stray curl to the side. "I must have fallen asleep."

She raised an amused eyebrow at his obvious remark. Any other day, she would have teased him, but she was too tired to think of anything clever to say. Honesty was a suitable substitute for wit.

"You should have gone to bed with the others." Another obvious statement.

"I was waiting for you," he yawned and roughly rubbed the weariness from his eyes. "How is Anna?"

She tiled her head and bit her lip as she thought of how to respond. "It was a difficult birth, but she's... better. Much better in fact. Doctor Clarkson is optimistic."

Carson nodded. "And the baby?"

"Resting."

"And Mr Bates?"

"Relieved."

Carson let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, as if a great weight has been physically lifted from him.

"And how are you?"

His sudden question caught her off guard.

At first glance, she seemed to be the definition of perfection. Not a hair was out of place, not a single thread was loose. Had it not been for her bloodshot eyes and slightly askew hat, he would have assumed that she was fine. This was the physical effect of the past few days, and Mr Carson knew that it would pass.

Her emotional state was another matter entirely.

"I'm fine," was her immediate reply. The meaning of her words was undercut by the tremendous yawn that escaped her. He raised an eyebrow and she grinned sheepishly behind her hand.

"To be quite honest, Mr Carson, I think I'm too exhausted to have fully processed the events of the last two days." She leaned forward and placed a hand on top of his in a feeble attempt to reassure him. "I'll be fine, really."

He turned his hand over and laced his finger with hers. He would let it go – for now.

"You do realize that I'm going to ask you again tomorrow," he said.

The corners of her lips turned upwards. "And tomorrow we shall see what my answer will be." Another yawn escaped her lips. "But right now, we must go to bed."

She pulled him up from his chair, and he clicked off the lights. Together they walked side by side out of his office and down the dimly lit corridor. A sliver of respectable distance existed between them, but their pinkies remained intertwined. It was only when they reached the servant's quarters that they wordlessly let go.

Until tomorrow.

Mrs Hughes swallowed the lump in her throat and continued down the women's side, without turning back.

They went their separate ways in the night like two moths, but she knew that she was flying home to him.


End file.
